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Receive our newsletterUnless you are young and dating, Valentine’s Day usually passes people by. By the time you are in an established relationship, married or living together and as the years roll on, Valentine’s Day is seen as a commercial enterprise which is hardly noticed.
That is, until you find yourself coping with divorce. Then, Valentine’s Day assumes a significance which is disproportionate and has the effect of making the loss which is already difficult, a little bit worse. Passing the shop windows filled with heart shaped chocolates and red roses and more shops with helium balloons proclaiming love, is a poignant reminder of being alone. Just as Christmas and Easter provides a focal point for loss so does Valentine’s Day. It is a reminder of the idyll that is the stuff of fantasy, of walking hand in hand into the sunset, or gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes without a cross word or thought. The reality, probably, though was rather different. The humdrum everydayness of the relationship, the domestic chores and practical running of the relationship is more the case than the Mills and Boon fantasy that red ribbons create.
To get through it, focus on what is real about a relationship and not what is idyllic and rarely true. Buy a box of chocolates in a faux velvet box and wade through them in front of a good film.
Buy a box of chocolates in a faux velvet box and wade through them in front of a good film.
It is a day and it does pass, just as all the emotions associated with separation pass and heal too.
To speak with Charlotte for individual separation and divorce advice, view her profile
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