Congratulations to all mums-to-be! We’re sure you are looking forward to B-day, which is guaranteed to be one of the most memorable of your whole life! You’ve lots to look forward to and this is a time to be realistic about the huge changes ahead and an opportunity to prepare for your wonderful new life.
Having a baby is often described as the most natural thing in the world. However, along with the excitement and immense fulfillment, motherhood can be an extremely daunting and overwhelming experience. Lack of sleep, a complete change to what was once your normal life and feelings of isolation can all take a toll on self-esteem and your self-worth can plummet.
In general, a lack of self-confidence can be attributed to a lack of self-worth and an inability to accept the person you truly are. The key to overcoming these issues, and therefore increasing your confidence, is to take control of your life – how you feel about it, its purpose and direction. These factors are inextricably linked as only by evaluating your current lifestyle and beliefs will you begin to take control of your health, wellbeing, relationships, parenting skills and overall happiness.
Tracey Wall, director of Empowering Mums, supports women to achieve lifelong happiness and fulfillment by encouraging them to live life according to their own values. She believes, “To accept yourself is to appreciate, validate, acknowledge and support who you are, including those elements you would ultimately like to change.” Tracey explains, “Self-esteem relates to self-respect: being confident is about having the ability to believe in yourself, your principles and having the power to live by them every day.”
If you let it, your lack of self-confidence will affect every aspect of your life, including how you parent your children. In turn they will follow your example: if you want secure and happy offspring, take control of your own happiness now!
Here are some expert tips from Tracey that will help you to build your confidence and self-esteem:
Stop trying to be perfect: perfection simply doesn’t exist! This is because society has so many conflicting ideals that it would be wrong to label any one as the correct and proper. What is important is that you identify the ideals and standards that you believe in and that you can maintain, whilst being a great mum, partner, friend, daughter and sister. You should not live your life in accordance with other people’s values and expectations. This is your life and this is your time to live it!
Celebrate your beliefs and qualities. Recognise your strengths and use them to your advantage. Acknowledge your weaknesses: we all have them and we shouldn’t be ashamed of the things we find challenging.
If you find yourself hanging on the words of others, take a moment to consider how your thoughts and views are perceived. Your opinions do count and it will surprise you to discover how much friends and family value you.
This is often the key that unlocks most women’s ability to believe in the person they have become. Something in your past has dented your confidence and wounded your ability to self-heal. Only by owning up to these circumstances, facing the events of the past and acknowledging the affect they have had on your life, will you start to build a happier life. The point here is not to dredge up the past, not to wallow in old sadness, and not to apportion blame. It is to recognise, learn from, accept and, most importantly, let go. Allowing the past to stay in the past is an overwhelming and truly empowering experience!
Do you have a voice inside you saying, “You can’t do that because…”? Is this your voice or does it sound like someone you know well? Over time, other people have tried to convince you of your limitations. Who are they to know whether you can conquer your deepest fears or achieve lifelong aspirations? Why do you allow them to dominate you in this way! Take responsibility: take control! Silence your mind chatter to prevent its ability to manipulate your every decision: your confidence will soar almost immediately! Believe in yourself – believe you can!
Remember that being a happy mum will make you a fantastic mum! Nothing can prepare you for the love you will have for your child – or the sleepless nights to come – but being confident about the woman you are and the family you wish to raise will create a secure environment in which your children will thrive!
One final tip: at some point following the birth of your child you will crave some ‘me time’. Taking some time out to recharge your batteries is vital and completely normal. Take advantage of an opportunity to spend time with friends, to relax, to exercise - anything that you simply enjoy doing! Don’t deprive yourself of this time away – it will make you a stronger woman and mum!
For further support you can contact Tracey Wall on her advice line 0906 194 9617. Calls to this number cost £1.23 per minute from a BT Landline, calls from other networks and mobiles may vary, or view her profile.