Helen Oakwater

Adoption Expert And Coach

Hello, I’m Helen Oakwater, your expert advisor and coach for all adoption matters and author of Bubble Wrapped Children.

My extensive specialist qualifications, a continuous desire to learn and practical experience give me well-rooted feet, a well-filled head and a funny side. I also became a parent overnight, adopting three siblingss from the care system in the early 1990s. Call me at Greatvine for my unique set of skills, knowledge and experience in both as a coach and parent mentor.

Adoptive parenting is very different to ‘normal’ parenting. It can be deeply challenging and extraordinary; shake your confidence; and leave you feeling disempowered and isolated. You are best served by a parent mentor offering specialist practical advice, knowledge and common sense that you can apply throughout the future. My parenting advice focuses on the challenge to understand and interpret your child’s behaviour to give them what they need. The underlying principles and theoretical framework don't really change, but the ‘how to’ does.

The journey can be an emotional rollercoaster, from choosing an agency, to selecting a child. And when that child arrives you discover feelings, desires and emotions you never had before, impacting every part of you and your life. What children need may be very different from what they say they want; what works one week might not the next. I help hugely reduce the frustration with knowledge, a theoretical framework, a fresh perspective and a generous dollop of humour. The underlying parenting principles are providing structure, nurture, engagement and challenge to a child. One size does not fit all: children are guided by their past experiences. Adopted children may have lived in chaotic environments including neglect & abuse. Some form a very negative view of themselves; their behaviour reflects confusion and pain. I’ve been on every stage of the journey. I help by listening carefully; offering fresh perspectives; new sources and contacts; book suggestions; and neither of us will simply waffle!

My personal and executive coaching helps you decide what is a short term crisis or a long term issue. My advice allows you to forensically find the cause and safely neutralize it so the symptoms simply melt away. Changing the limiting belief “I’m not good enough” to “I am enough” is the powerful transformation change possible with professional coaching. We all have such ‘thought viruses’, often instilled without us realising. And just like a computer, you work better without viruses.

Some of my published articles are free to download from this site. With a specialist interest in the impact of trauma in childhood, I know there are effective coaching processes to release historical shackles, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder and dump old baggage that can hold us back. I’d be delighted to help you here at Greatvine. Take good care,

Helen